At the beginning of January, my daughter and I spent our first ever night apart. Considering she was already seven, this was a big deal for both of us. My son and I have rarely spent a night away from each other, either. He homeschools, so most days are spent together, too. My husband and I both work from home. That is a whole lot of togetherness.
They all left me in January for a trip to Montreal and the countryside of Quebec. That meant that the first night apart from my family was followed by sixteen more. I confess that I was more than ready for all the alone time that their holiday gifted me.
It did feel like a present. I kept my own schedule. I ate meals when I wanted. I read entire chapters of books without interruption. I took walks that didn't feel like a theft from the attention someone else was craving. It had been awhile since I had been able to put so much thought and energy into what, for a lack of better words, I could call my spiritual life.
Years ago, when I was single, I regularly made story boards or collages to get my creativity revved up and focused for whatever clothing or jewelry design I was embarking on. While my family was away, I had fun with this activity again. Instead of a story board for a design line, I put together a vision board for my own personal year of 2022. I set resolutions with vision boards. I think the result has actually been life changing. Big words, but this is true. I became crystal clear on where the meaning in my life is meant to come from this year. I figured out what I want to do.
I intentionally engaged the process in a rush. I flipped quickly through magazines and seed catalogues and rapidly snipped out what caught my eye, not giving any thought to why. I picked maybe three images or words from each magazine. Not much resonated with me. I think that was a good thing. At the end, I had a pile of images and phrases. As I looked through them, this time with both my conscious mind and open heart, I realized I had created categories. I was filled with understanding of what I fancy to focus on, what I want to give, what I desire to learn, what I wish to retrieve. I look at this vision board most days. Sometimes, life being so busy, I go for a week or so between peeks. And then I take it all in again, remind myself of what I truly want, and sometimes find out that I am actively fulfilling my vision without even realizing it.
One of the phrases on my board reads "Spiritually Awake". Another is "For Family Fun" and still another "Family Routines to Refresh". These aspirations can get lost in the shuffle of daily life. Last week I hit it right and these were are rolled into one on after-school walk with my kids through the forested trails of Lily Point, followed directly by a visit to Maple Beach.
While my children played in the sand on the beach, I gazed across the ocean at low tide. Various sea birds were gliding through the sky and wading through the shallow water. While I looked out on the scene, I had the sense that I was looking straight into myself. I had that sense of being spiritually awake, just like on my vision board. I felt that I was capable in all sorts of ways I haven't been giving myself credit for. I felt strong. I felt an overwhelming sense of peace. I also reflected on how easy it is to get to this space in such idyllic surroundings: I live on a largely forested peninsula. A wave of gratitude washed over me.
I also felt curious about how effortless or not would it be for me to quickly slip into this state if I lived across the water in the small condos? Or if I lived in an industrial town? Or if my country was in a state of war? I sensed that I wouldn't be too good at it and I know that there are people who actually are. I went on to wonder why I wasn't managing to create these feelings more often during the daily tasks of family life, when I am surrounded by the people I love most. I think I need to get down to the ocean more often, since this is readily available to me, to revisit these feelings. And then I need to carry them right back up the hill and wear them as much as I can, without the view, and while surrounded by noise and even chaos. I wonder, if you don't live by the ocean or in a forest, where do you go for your reminders of your best self and to rekindle your spiritual life?
Of course, my garden is also a place where I feel my passion and at peace. This is true, especially in the moments where I don't have interruptions ("Mum, what can I eat?") or feel the pull of all the intersecting needs of family life that only I seem to be able to fulfill. I am fortunate for the daily moments when I am in my zone, planting seeds, tending seedlings, harvesting, and just breathing in the beauty.
With these thoughts in mind, I'm wishing you a year ahead of moments that keep the essence of you growing and flourishing!
With warmth,
Chwynyn
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